Oh Lucy, I'm Ho-ome

Those words strike fear into 2 hearts at my house. #1 Mine. I'm the one saying them and scared about what I might find happened while I was gone. #2 is Lucy. Who is Lucy? Well, let me introduce you.

See this cutie(being walked by one of my little cuties):
Here she is sleeping with Ramsey:Doesn't she look like a sweet little girl?
Well, those were pics of her at 2 months! At 1 year, this is what she looks like now:
Lucy is a Great Dane. (That child that looks small in comparison sitting next to her is my 9 year old PWP #2 "Trial")

So why do I have to give warnings that I'm home? See these: I love shoes, and I thought that these ones were pretty cute.
Here's what they look like now:
These are the 8TH pair of MY shoes that Lucy has eaten! Apparently, she has a thing for cute heels too. (Now, in all fairness, I will admitt that I am not the only one who has lost shoes to Lucy. I think everyone in the house has lost at least one shoe. And barbie legs, and plastic cups, and 2 couch cushions. BUT I am the ONLY one who has lost an entire wardrobe of shoes!!)
So I went to the Macy's closeout sale (The Riverdale Macy's is going out of business) and replaced my cute little heels with these: I instantly fell in love! Don't they look like old "School Marm" shoes?! I had to have them. They are beyond retro! And I love old fashioned fashions- I'm crazy like that.

So what's my confession for the day? I acted very unlady-like when I found this:
(Mind you, I learned after pair #1, not to leave shoes out. THESE shoes were UP on a SHELF in my CLOSET!!) In fact, when I found them I HIT Lucy with it. Then I threw the shoe. Then I yelled ( I don't really yell. I can think of twice in my whole marriage I've really yelled. This time I yelled) at MBC that I HATE his dog!!!
Remember MY dog Ramsey? Ramsey has NEVER eaten a shoe! Ramsey has never eaten anything. He used to sleep with the duck! (A real life duck!) HE is a good boy.

I once read a book called Fascinating Womanhood that preached that the way to keep your marriage strong was to be a "Fascinating" woman. Basically be really girly, wear frilly clothes, aprons, make-up, boost their ego, you know basically be a domestic goddess etc. Well, it's a good thing that my MBC doesn't always want me to be like that, because, I wasn't very "fascinating"! I was more like a horned devil-woman with red eyes and smoke coming out of my ears!