Is the Romance Dead?

During a recent holiday visit, a newly married family member was appalled when they discovered that one of the men in the family didn't open a car door for their wife. My simple response was that '"Romantic" changes after you've had kids.'
You see, I happen to think that my manly beef cake can still be romantic, I just measure it in different ways than I used to.

Yes, helping me out of the car USED to be very gentlemanly, but NOW it's much sweeter that I open my own door while he helps the kids get out, or carried the baby carrier so I don't have to.
Romance USED to be having roses delivered for no reason. Don't get me wrong, I still like roses, but with 4 kids and enough pets to fill a small zoo, it's NOW that he's careful with the extra money, but does the dishes when he can tell I've had a really bad day.
It USED to be that romance was opening doors. NOW it's carrying "pansy" diaper bags and purses because angel/devil #3 insists that Mommy carry her.
Romantic excitement USED to be making out in the park behind a tree-hoping that we wouldn't get caught. NOW, it's locking the bedroom door-hoping that we don't get caught.
It USED to be midnight phone calls, just to say he missed me in the 30 min. we'd been apart. NOW it's the 2 min. phone calls on his lunch break to make sure that everythings okay at the house.
It USED to be carrying me over puddles or snowdrifts. NOW it's when he vacuumed the house for two weeks after my giving birth because the doc. said don't lift anything heavier than your baby.
It USED to be expensive gifts. NOW it's HE makes a delicious dinner so that I don't have to cook on my birthday.

If romance has died anywhere it's with me! I get so caught up in the house, the kids, school, etc that I don't make candle- light dinners or write romantic poems and love notes. The closest he gets is a pretty night gown on our anniversary, a text that says LOVE YA!, or the rare nights when dinner is actually ready when he gets home from work.

Frankly, I think that we give men too hard a time about being romantic when it's definately a two way street. And at least in my case, my beef cake is further down the road than I am.

Send help, I've been surrounded!

I am in desperate need of help. From what you ask? Boys and their toys!!!
My eldest perfect angel/devil received a nerf gun for Christmas (obviously okayed by DAD) and now I know why. Said oldest angel/devil and my beef cake have teamed up and have been shooting EVERYTHING in sight for the last 3 hours. Guess who's been "in sight" for most of that time? Oh that's right, ME and the youngest angel/devil. To make matters worse, now they are talking about how they want to go spend Christmas money on another gun and MORE AMMO! AHHHHH!! Someone send help quick!

Just a Mom?

I have a very dear friend who had a bad day yesterday. You see, she came down with the flu over Christmas and it finally caught up to her. She was exhausted, behind on "post holiday chaos", and no longer vomiting, so no longer receiving sympathy from her family. As it does with all of us Moms, it left her feeling cranky, and unappreciated.
Now, because this said good friend has helped me on my days of feeling like I'm failing in the wife and motherhood department, I offer the following:

The world is full of women blindsided by the unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be terrific and torturous.
-Anna Quindlen

This is part of the essence of motherhood, watching your kid grow into her own person and not being able to do anything about it. Otherwise children would be nothing more than pets.
-Heather Armstrong

How simple a thing it seems to me that to know ourselves as we are, we must know our mothers' names.
-Alice Walker

Sooner or later we all quote our mothers.
-Bern Williams

Sometimes the laughter in mothering is the recognition of the ironies and absurdities. Sometime, though, it's just pure, unthinking delight.
-Barbara Schapiro

"In our society, we give motherhood plenty of lip service. We pat moms on the head, bring them flowers on Mother's Day, and honor them before crowds. But at the end of the day, we don't extend them the same respect we would a professor, a dentist, an accountant, or a judge...
"I know for sure that few callings are more honorable. To play down mothering as small is to crack the very foundation on which greatness stands...
"We should no longer allow a mother to be defined as 'just a mom.' It is on her back that great nations are built."
-Oprah Winfrey-

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
-Abraham Lincoln

So my dear, sweet friend, remember that there is a flip side. We ALL have the bad days, but there will be good ones again, too. In the words of a very wise friend, who said about teaching her children: "They need to understand that no matter what the “world” says the womanly art of homemaking is a valuable and precious skill. They will learn these things at my side. They will not only learn the mechanics of these skills, they will learn to love them, and value them, and they will learn the importance of these skills. This means I need to take a deep breath, be patient, and dig deep on those trying days. I need to remember the big picture." (-Oh wait, that friend was YOU!)
I love ya! We Mom's gotta stick together and remind each other why we aren't gonna give up! Hope you have a better day!

Happy Birthday Mommy!

Today is MY mom's birthday! So I thought it only fitting to pay homage to the wonderful woman I call Mom!
This patient woman raised 3 perfect little pews of her own (the eldest being yours truly). She dealt with messy bedrooms, a traveling husband, school teachers and projects, dance classes, her homebound parents, the TEENAGE years, breaking of curfews, our break-ups and 3 weddings, and she's still alive to laugh about it. Yes, she really laughs, not hold a grudge, not complain, not curse that we'll have one just like us (although I do have one so maybe she thought it), she just laughs.
And she has become the greatest Grandma on the planet. When you add my four angel/devils to my youngest brothers 3, she CURRENTLY has 7 little grandchildren, none of them over 10 years and she thinks they are all angels. She has regular "Grandma Dates" where she takes each of the 7 for a one on one time with Grandma. She takes them to museums, cooks with them, teaches them to sew, does crafts with them. (You know all the stuff that I SHOULD be doing but never get around to.) And she will re-arrange her life just for the chance to babysit.
So Mom, here's to you. I love ya!
I love how you want longer hair, but get flustered and "trim" it. I love how much you love chocolate. I love how you try to be SO fair to everyone, that you probably drive yourself crazy. I love how you still try to "take care of us". I love how you'll always come with us on field trips and even though WE invited you, you still feel like you have to pay for something.(You really need to stop doing that, it gives me guilt.) I love how strong and independent you are. I love how well you dealt with Dad traveling for a living. I love that because your birthday is so close to Christmas, you always made mine special, so it never bothered me. I love how you took care of Grandma and Grandpa! I love that you are a wonderful grandma. And I LOVE that you've become my friend!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!

Technology- Good or Evil?

Let me start by saying, I KNOW I would loose what is left of my chaotic mind without the wonderful world of technology that I currently make a part of my everyday life. I mean it's a beautiful thing. I flip a switch and there's noonday light in my room at 10:00pm. In the comfort of my own, nice, warm, home (thanks to a heater) I can push a little lever and my indoor plumbing is flushed away. I sing the praises of the inventors of convection ovens, dishwashers, and magic erasers!....But there are DAYS...when I really want to know what in the world am I doing!?
When did I become SO dependent on the things that I own. It's more like they own me.
I have days when I envy the olden days. When people wanted to go pay a bill, they jumped on their horse and went. Can I have a huge farm with a barn a couple hundred feet away so that I can ride my horse everywhere? OH NO, I have to depend on a vehicle (a Ford Expedition, to be exact, which was to expensive to have any problems I might add) that has windshield wipers that don't work. I have to scrape ice off the windows (even when the scraper got left in my hubby's truck and is miles away at his work) and hope that it has enough fuel in it to get me to my destination.
Then as I stand here looking at my ENORMOUS pile of dirty laundry, that appeared magically over the last two days (seriously, I was 3 loads away from NO laundry on Friday and now I have at least 10, but really the pile is so big, I don't want to look at it long enough to count how many loads I really have) and I know that this "need" for having huge wardrobes was started by the invention of the washing machine. I think that the pioneers were GENIUS. 3outfits each. An "Everyday" outfit, a "Washday" outfit, and a "We do own nice clothes, you wear them to church on Sunday" outfit. If each member of my family had a max of 3 outfits, I could do one load of laundry a day, (yes in my washing machine, *curses*) and never again have a pile. Darks one day, underwear one day, lights one day, towels one day, sheets one day. We're good!
Somewhere there has to be a happy medium, where I can enjoy Modern medicine, and feminine hygiene products, but not be owned by my possessions. Tell me sensai, What is the secret to living such a life? Oh well, here's hoping I find the answer before I"m 90!

The Power of Bribes

As a quick update, I'm pleased to announce that ALL of the Christmas gifts have now been opened. And all the childrens bedrooms in my home are a lovely shade of clean. WOW my beef cake is a smarter man than I gave him credit for!

Extended Family

With all the holiday visits we've done lately, I've had extended family on my mind a lot this week. So I decided it was a good time to do a post about extended family.
You know when people say the words "Extended Family" a lot of people respond with a moan and think about their in-laws.
Well #1, I have amazing in laws who treat me like I'm a real member of the family( not just married into it) and they have all done wonderful things for my little immediate family.
#2 I don't automatically think of my husbands parents or brothers. I am lucky enough to have a lot of extended family, that are very much a part of our lives.
I have great friends that are as much a part of our family as real family is. I have brother and sister-in-laws on both sides that are as much friends as they are family. My children have cousins on both sides that they see on a farely regular basis. They consider them as much friends as family.
My hubby and I have cousins and aunt and uncles that we still keep in contact with.(More than just Christmas Cards even) While my husbands family is much better about it than I am (they are amazing at how well they keep in touch with EVERYONE in the family) I have aunts that make sure that they keep in touch. Even though they have their own kids and grandkids they still remember me and mine. They always send us cute, thoughful, Christmas Gifts and will drop whatever they are doing to talk to me for an hour, when I actually do make the effort to stay close.
Both mine and my hubby's sides have things like Family Reunions and Parties at least 1 to 3 times a year. There are some who feel like these are just busy and stress added to your schedule, but I think they're great. I am so thankful that my kids get the chance to SEE where they came from. That they really know their extended family on a large scale and that they aren't just the people that Mom and Dad tell stories about sometimes, but they've never seen.
I think that extended family is GREAT! What a blessing that I have to so many.

Post Holiday Chaos

I hope that ALL of you had a wonderful Christmas!
We had a busy, great day: Tons of gifts, tons of family, and TONS of food (I may need to buy larger pants)
Now my job as Chaos Manager is back in full swing. Mainly cleaning up the post holiday mess: Make sure all the garbage is out-Gift bags stored-New gifts put away-Extra dishes done-Half dried out tree taken down-Start putting decorations away-Dispose of the goodies I haven't already snarffed down-Go shopping for the batteries we forgot to pick up **Ugh**
Plus there's the normal everyday stuff: Errands-Vacuuming-laundry-Bathrooms-Mopping-Animals-and Bedrooms. Especially since my dance partner threatened NO GIFTS unless rooms are clean and actually followed thru. Two of my four pews have yet to open any packages. (They got to unwrap, just not open) So they have MAJOR room cleaning to do, which means Mom has major re-organizing to do. In their defense though, I have to say that they made great progress today, even with all the time we spent away from home.
We aren't starting school back up yet though. We won't get back into full swing until after the 1st; and hopefully by then some of the chaos will be managed-At least until the next big celebratory occasion.

Merry Christmas

Since I know that today and tomorrow will be crazy hectic days,and I know I won't get on tomorrow, I just wanted to make sure I wish you all a Merry Christmas! I hope that you enjoy your holidays and eat LOTS of YUMMY stuff.
Love ya all!

Shimmy Mom

For one of my first ever blog entries, I decided that I'd better start with explaining my chosen name... Shimmy Mom.
SHIMMY Mom: For those of you who don't know: a shimmy is a belly dance move. And for the fewer of you who don't know: Yes, I belly dance. I have for almost 6 years now, and I LOVE it!
Why belly dance? Well I started dancing when I was 7 years old. I've tried almost every genre of dance out there and while I enjoy them all, Belly dance has found a special place in my little dancing heart.
#1 It's GREAT exercise. (and when you're a woman who likes food as much as I do, you need a good, fun exercise)
#2 It's fun. I have always been a little..... unique is the nice word(weird is the true one) and to me it's fun to have a unique hobby. Any type of dance is fun to me, but not many can say they know how to belly dance and it's also the one that I can get plenty of dvds of and do in the privacy of my own living room. There is also SO much history and culture involved in it and I love to study it all. Like I said I'm... unique.
#3 It's sexy... yeah I went there, and that's okay. I am not a feminist. And while I do teach my daughters to be strong and self-reliant, I also believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with being feminine. Men and women are different. God made us that way for a reason. In bellydance the moves are designed to showcase the things a female body does different from a mans, like fluidity and gracefulness and hips! God bless the dance that says it's okay that I have HIPS! It makes ME feel pretty, and after giving birth to four children, I'll do whatever it takes to make me forget about the stretch marks and wrinkles and extra pounds for a little while.( And my husband doesn't mind it either)
Shimmy MOM: The second half is pretty self explanitory. I'm a MOM... of four perfectly wonderful little pews. There isn't an aspect of my life that doesn't trace back to them somehow. Examples: We homeschool, so I'm a teacher for THEM. I dance, to stay in shape so I have enough energy for THEM. I cook meals, to feed THEM. I go to church to set a good example and teach THEM, see where this is goin'?
And of course in this life that I'm dancing through, I occassionally team up with my dance partner. The man I adore with all of my being, who gave me the four perfect little pews.
So now you know why the name.
I am SHIMMY MOM.

First Post

Well I finally got off my lazy bum and decided to start a blog. Now I just have to learn not to be so computer illiterate so that I can up load pics and such. Thank you to all of my wonderful friends who have set the good example to me and got me addicted to your blogs, I hope that you will enjoy mine half as much as I enjoy yours! More to come soon!!